The Squirmy Puppy Pub

[Anelle 794]

Click here if you want to read me trying to write something I thought was funny as my meds kicked in. Spoiler: it's not

Spoiler

 

"The...Squirmy Puppy?" You let out a small snort, more really a puff of air than a proper snort, really. You've passed down this street so many times, but today is the first day you really looked at the sign above. It seems to swing lightly in a breeze that doesn't seem to be affecting anything else. It's inviting, each small movement a beckoning motion.

 

Before you know it, you've made up your mind and pull open the door and step inside the Squirmy Puppy. You finally noticed it, why not go in? The place seems quiet, comfortable. Nothing too flashy, plain in a good way, a familiar way. You start to feel this is a place you could sit a spell and feel at peace.

 

First, however, a drink! You make your way over to the bar, where this really fat bitch lookin' woman is cleaning...you hesitate. Before you can turn tail and flee, she looks up at you, cracks a grin and motions you closer. Disarmed by her smile, you obey, and take a seat. 

 

"So," she says as she wipes a glass "What'll it be?"

 

As you open your mouth to answer she suddenly tosses the glass over her shoulder, breaking about 20 other things with it. "Fuck it I thought this would be funny but it's really fucking stupid"

 

"W-wha--"

 

"Yeah, nah. Let's just talk."

 

 

Anyway, I hereby open The Squirmy Puppy, which is what I've always wanted to name a bar/tavern/pub whathaveya because it would be an adorable name.

 

My idea for this is just... come talk to the imaginary barkeep about your day or what's on your mind.

 

I was gonna draw pictures

 

This went off the rails really quick

 

TELL ME ABOUT YOUR DAY GODDAMNIT

[MT 917]

My day was boring, and full of wrestling. Texted a girl I went out with a few months ago, she's currently recovering from surgery, but hopefully her and I can hang out again in the relative future.

[Jane 100]

Just been to see the doc, now I need to stop posting here and get to work.   Especially as I also wasted time trying to activate a free Dropbox offer that came with my PC but is now seemingly no longer valid.

 

(I also made the mistake of going into the Concerts thread and now my brain wants me to try and make a list of all the gigs I've been to instead of working )

[Lucy 108]

Been cleaning the kitchen, I need it to be fairly organised because tomorrow I have to bake scones for a charity bake sale at my work

[Jane 100]

Mmm... scones...

[Lucy 108]

Fruit and oat scones!  

[Anelle 794]

Man I have had A MOMENT. Got my first batch of baby possums for rehabbing this season yesterday and while we were over at my mentor's house Lee noticed a slightly older possum by itself in another cage and wanted to take a look.... turns out this little dumbass got himself stuck in a chimney and was COVERED in soot. Naturally, we named him Grimy and took him home with us to rehab.

 

Little dude was fucking COATED, he's right at the stage where they really start getting in nice thick fur and he was just saturated. Took a very thorough bath with a very angry little opossum. The paper towels we wiped him off with were turning black.

 

Once we got him clean we discovered a pretty nasty tail wound, so I spent the night agonizing over whether he'd make it through the night long enough to get to the vet today (last time I had one with a huge tail injury she did not make it.)

 

Good news though, Grimy went to the vet, his tail does not appear to be necrotic, just bruised to east jesus and back, so he gets pain meds and to be a spoiled lil poss with tail rubs until he gets better.

[Hornet 114]

Today I walked for nearly six continuous hours as the guy I look after went into various stores trying to make a 25 pence saving on a canned drink. He was convinced that 85 pence was too much to pay, and that he had seen it at a different store for 60. So we went to five. different. fucking. stores looking for dat elite 25 pence saving... Then I took him into one of the maker spaces in town and said "Look; if you go to one of THESE places you can learn a craft. They will let you play with tools and you can learn something." He said he would think about it, then we spent 3 more hours shuffling around for no reason. The whole time we discussed his repetoire of about five different topics of conversation. We walked past two museums, a library, and three galleries. I lost my vape pen in a field. Sat down for a moment and that shit rolled out of my pocket. He spent a lot of the day trying to think of an insulting nickname for me. One day I am going to twist his head off. After work I went to the pub and read 2 chapters of True Grit and had 2 beers.

Yesterday my best friend since childhood told me he intended to poison a cat. He is planting lillies with intent. I told him to buy a super soaker, an ultrasonic scarer, one of those sculptures with marbles for eyes that scare cats away. That he could plant lavender. That he could push toothpicks into the earth so the ground is unpleasant to stand on He said no. He's planting lilies in the hope that the cat dies.

 

 

[Tassifox 418]

WTF does he have against cats?

[Anelle 794]

What in the fuck

[MT 917]

Had some dude at one of my delivery stops get mad at me because I didn't know I wasn't allowed to go past his desk. I had a delivery for the second floor, saw him sitting there on the first floor, and thought maybe the elevators were behind him, but no. He stops me and damn near yells at me, like i'm supposed to fucking guess he signs for all packages when it's my first time being there. This is literally the only building i've delivered to in 17 years where this was how it's done, outside of maybe an apartment complex, and i'm supposed to just assume this one is special and different?

 

Had another guy practically ignore me. Went to the shipping/receiving area, saw one guy in there and told him I had a delivery. He just points at the desk behind him and then says nothing else to me, and just walk out of the room. Didn't bother to say he couldn't sign for things, or that he doesn't work in that department, nope. He just walks the fuck out.  Other than that my day's been pretty normal.

[Anelle 794]

Ugh, why is it so hard for some people to just... act human?? Talk to people like they're people? Next time fart on them. DO IT

[Tassifox 418]

It's amazing how much people act the way they do to other humans. Granted I'm no saint myself but I try really really hard not to go out of my way to be a dick.

[Anelle 794]

Maybe saying they're not "acting human" is wrong since this seems to be a not-uncommon human behavior thing but ?????? of course someone doing a delivery isn't going to know what's going on in your head use some sense

 

In other news, Grimy the possum is still in rough shape but has a reasonable amount of energy and I LOVE HIM

[Hornet 114]

IDK wtf is going on with him, he basically wants the cat to stop shitting in his garden. Even with a fuckin flood of humane suggestions dude is convinced Lillies are the way to go, like he wants revenge on a cat or something. Tried to argue for clemency for this cat with arguments like "it's a fucking cat, dude." and "It might be some kid's cat." No dice. 

 

The dude I look after, I swear to God, I have bled trying to get him to engage with something, giving him info and directions to (IRL) forums for others with his condition, LGBT specific forums for others with his condition, taken him to hobbyist cafes and repeated the walking route he would need to take to get there Over, and Over, and Over again so he very definitely knows how to get there (He hasn't gone since), Taken him to a credit union to sort him an acct (which fell through), got him a damn job (didn't attend), found him var. workshops for making stuff (declared interest) and had him photograph the dates of workshops (didn't attend), related to him that there would be a large social with free food specifically for people with his condition (didn't attend) had Swift Playgrounds installed on the ipads so that he might l2code (noped out) signed him up to codeacademy (noped out) provided him with books and articles related to declared wants like being better at socializing, and nutrition (Tldr)

 

Wanting to twist his head off is an exaggeration, but I definitely, at this point, spend an awful lot of my day thinking things like; "Hey if I'd have gotten hired by McDonalds instead of this Charity when I was a kid, I'd be a franchisee by now." 

[Tassifox 418]

He does know that the cat's giving him free fertilizer right?

Also sorry to hear about the guy you look after. Hopefully something gets through to him.

[Hornet 114]

Just now, Tassifox said:

Also sorry to hear about the guy you look after. Hopefully something gets through to him.

 

TBH I'm probably just going to trade off and pair him with someone who also doesn't try... I'm committed to leaving the damn company by Oct anyway so the transition should be done sooner rather than later.

Worst thing is I think he's a good laugh and we have a time, sometimes, and if I leave the company I'll probably trade numbers and we'll go out for calzones now and then or some shit. Right now his being basically an OK guy just makes thing shittier, because he doesn't know how f*cked he is if he doesn't bucko up. ?

[Anelle 794]

Welp, Grimy's tail tip did die after all so he gets that bit amputated tomorrow. Luckily it's only a tiny portion of his tail and he has full use of the rest so this is just a temporary setback! He's a sweet little guy. He's asleep on my chest. Have I mentioned I love this little possum?

[Hornet 114]

Liked for sweet possum being ok. Unliked for losing a tailtip. Requesting ambivalent react.

Glad possum is good

[Anelle 794]

just a totally neutral face and the react is called "reaction"

[webhead 519]

?

[MT 917]

The post office attempted to deliver a package to me from Japan on Saturday, but no one was home to sign for it. So I went on their site and requested that they re-attempt it today. It is currently 4:40PM and the mail still hasn't arrived, nor have I gotten any confirmation that it's on its way. This is literally the only day i'm home to sign for it (outside of Sunday, but they don't usually deliver Sundays).

 

Other than that i've been catching up on some TV I missed and playing Risk of Rain 2. Oh, and I got a large chocolate shake from Sonic that i'm kind of regretting, only because I didn't realize just how big their large size was.

[Anelle 794]

sonic large is like the child size from parks and rec

 

 

and @webheadI dunno that looks a little too grimace-y 

[MT 917]

You're not wrong.
 

 

[webhead 519]

Sonic large shakes are completely unreasonably huge.  I mean it's a nice value but holy fuck no one should ever ever eat an entire large shake.  Half the time I regret getting a fucking medium.  Best to stick with the small honestly.

[MT 917]

I really wanted a chocolate shake. My mind was bigger than my stomach. I drank about 3/4 of it.

[webhead 519]

I'm honestly impressed you got down 3/4 of it and don't feel like your ass is going to explode.

[MT 917]

My stomach isn't happy, that's for sure.

 

But it was

 

[Anelle 794]

I once made the mistake of ordering a large shake from Jack in the Box and Lee just LET ME like some kind of monster

 

I screamed when they handed it to us

 

who on earth can drink that

[webhead 519]

Just now, Anelle said:

I screamed when they handed it to us

 

I am imagining you literally screaming as a Jack in the Box employee hands you a gallon of milk and ice cream.

 

 

I seriously cannot stop laughing at the image in my head.

[Anelle 794]

I don't think it was quite that dramatic but I do have a good screaming story

 

I don't remember why but as we pulled up to the speaker of the drive through of a Raising Canes I had been making a screeching noise or something at Lee as a joke and the Canes people have to say dumb stuff like "hey hey hey want some chicken today" when you pull up but apparently I threw this guy off because he just goes "..Welcome to Canes, AAAAHHHHHHHHHHH" and imitates the noise I was making

 

It was perfect

[MT 917]

7 minutes ago, Anelle said:

I once made the mistake of ordering a large shake from Jack in the Box and Lee just LET ME like some kind of monster

 

I screamed when they handed it to us

 

who on earth can drink that

 

I once drank one of those jugs buckets of soda that KFC used to have.

[Anelle 794]

1 minute ago, MT said:

 

I once drank one of those jugs buckets of soda that KFC used to have.

 

like.... in one sitting???

[Tassifox 418]

Only way I can get through one of those "cups" at Jack in the Crack is if I haven't eaten/drank anything almost all day.

 

[webhead 519]

10 minutes ago, MT said:

 

I once drank one of those jugs buckets of soda that KFC used to have.

 

@h2ojunkie and I definitely did that once and then took pictures.  I'm pretty sure @Truami was pissed something like that even existed.

 

Spoiler

 

12 minutes ago, Anelle said:

I don't think it was quite that dramatic but I do have a good screaming story

 

I don't remember why but as we pulled up to the speaker of the drive through of a Raising Canes I had been making a screeching noise or something at Lee as a joke and the Canes people have to say dumb stuff like "hey hey hey want some chicken today" when you pull up but apparently I threw this guy off because he just goes "..Welcome to Canes, AAAAHHHHHHHHHHH" and imitates the noise I was making

 

It was perfect

 

That reminds me of a story with  @Mera'din and Shannon.  Oh dear jesus.

 

We were in the car going to Jack in the Box and I think Chax was with us so you already know where this is going probably.  Chax is doing something annoying and Shannon starts screaming at him while the guy on the other end of the drive thru is waiting for us to order.  Suddenly he says, after we've already started ordering mind you, "sorry we're closed for cleaning" and clicks off.

[MT 917]

10 minutes ago, Anelle said:

 

like.... in one sitting???

Well I didn't chug the thing.

[Anelle 794]

well no, then you'd just straight up be dead but like... in what time frame was this consumed

 

was it stashed in the fridge for a break at any point

 

stuff like that

 

I NEED TO KNOW

[MT 917]

I probably drank it throughout the day. Don't think I put any of it in the fridge for later.

[Anelle 794]

that's not as outrageous as my first assumptions 

 

for whatever reason i didn't think you like.... chugged it but that it was consumed in a smaller sitting if that makes sense and i was concerned

[MT 917]

I mean, it probably took me a few hours. But then again I drank a lot of soda at that time.

[Anelle 794]

TIME TO TRY FOR A NEW RECORD, GO GET A BUCKET FROM HOME DEPOT

[webhead 519]

Annnnd MT is going to have a heart attack

[Anelle 794]

Oh, as if MT ever does anything I say

[MT 917]

I'm never drinking that much soda again.

[Anelle 794]

ok but what if you did and it gave you the ability to fart a knife at someone twice a year

[MT 917]

I'll pass.

[Anelle 794]

Man, going back to possum talk... I'm currently trying to choke down an anxiety attack about this possum. Last time I had a possum this age with a tail injury, the vet was very wrong in her diagnosis and that possum suffered needlessly until I was able to help her pass peacefully. It still devastates me when I think about it. The vet was not wrong this time, she made the call to give Grimy a bit more time to see if the bloodflow in the tail meant it could heal. With the tail tip dying, the next step is a very simple procedure to amputate the tip, cauterize and then see him through the healing. Should be just fine. He's having other issues from all the soot he inhaled, but seems to be doing well in those areas too. I am already deeply emotionally invested in this possum and while I have confidence in the treatment plan and his future right now I'm just hitting myself with all the what ifs and it fucking sucks

[Mera'din 308]

3 hours ago, webhead said:

That reminds me of a story with  @Mera'din and Shannon.  Oh dear jesus.

 

We were in the car going to Jack in the Box and I think Chax was with us so you already know where this is going probably.  Chax is doing something annoying and Shannon starts screaming at him while the guy on the other end of the drive thru is waiting for us to order.  Suddenly he says, after we've already started ordering mind you, "sorry we're closed for cleaning" and clicks off.

 

Oh god I remember that. God she was awful sometimes.

Side note: She is constantly getting into weird political arguments with my wife on Facebook and it stands out strongly enough that my wife literally has people PM her and be like "Who the fuck even is this lady?" and she has to explain to them who she is and it's honestly really cathartic for me.  

[Tassifox 418]

So yesterday was a day off, spent it cleaning around the apt. Then working on one of the side projects I've either put on pause forever ago or decided to add to in order to push off depressing thoughts when I'm home and don't get a lot of social time with peeps. This side project was upgrading one of my headpieces from my ren-faire garb. Added some bling and what not so I'm proud for getting one less half assed thing done. *stares at the pile of TBF*

Today was ASS O CLOCK 3am Scan team shift at work since it's Ad change day, but we also have a wave of resets happening this week so we had about 5 aisles to rescan, print, and rehang on top of our usual stuff. Normally resets aren't so bad since most of them are like 1-2 sections an aisle to redo but one of the aisles was the first half of the Chips/Snacks aisle.....woof....

Home now, stuffed my face with breakfast while binging new anime and chillaxing with tea while the weather is on and off sprinkles of rain right now.

[Anelle 794]

Yay for productivity! Boo for ass o'clock shifts!

 

Grimy is home, his tail tip amputation was successful! Right now he's chowing down on some food because getting surgery is hungry work.